What does it take to keep the little lights on within our kids? I often pause and reflect this time of year on the children which we serve, to really think about whether our efforts to give, protect, and love truly has a long-term impact.
On a recent trip to the Pacific Coast, I landed upon a song by a British singer named Passenger that describes “all the lights” that are extinguished throughout a child’s life. The concept was a sobering one. What takes away the love (or “light”) inside a child? The innocence, the joy, the passion, the wonder.. what can we do as educators to foster a true knowledge of what love is? Is this really our job? Or is it better left to parents? Here are a couple of ideas:
Part 1: The Stage of Understanding what real Love Means
A 4th-grade teacher told me recently that she asks all parents to write a “love note” to their child this time of year. Several parents groaned at the responsibility! One even went so far as to ask “can the love note just come from the dog and not me??”. As educators, it is too easy to assume that parents really know how to express love to their children. Real, unconditional, even-on-a-bad-day kinda love. This seems strange to us, but teaching your students WHAT unconditional love looks like maybe your legacy. I thought this “love note” idea was a great idea to help parents practice this skill, and for students to learn as well. How else can we capture this concept of “unconditional love”?
Part 2: The Compassion Stage
If your school or district does not have a set of character traits that it follows, create one! Compassion, caring, giving, selflessness (even at the secondary level) is immensely needed in our educational systems. You should celebrate these as you see them! A caring student of the day award. Random acts of kindness. Pay it Forward. Whatever the campaign, you have the power TODAY to help even the hardest students soften a little to show compassion.
Part 3: The Mother Theresa Stage: Create a Case for Un-Requested Giving
Where did we first learn to GIVE when we were not required? Our classes need to tackle the topic of “because it’s the right thing” type of giving. You are able to work this into almost any curriculum. Who were the greatest “givers of our generation”? What is the financial impact of philanthropy in America? How was our country founded on the sacrifice of our forefathers through their giving?
Part 4: Set up the “Safety Net”
We all have students that we understand better than others. You never know when your impact on a student causes them to trust you with the “hurts” in their lives. This is a difficult place for educators to exist, but when personal loss or abuse in a child’s life occurs, often a teacher is literally the only adult they can trust. Know your boundaries, but communicate to your students (or throughout your building) that your class (or classrooms) are a “safe place”, and then connect well with your school counselor to regularly intervene. Communicating this “safety net” allows students at the moment of their grief to feel hope (and a future) beyond their current pain.
You will never fully prepare your students to experience loss (or to have them heartbroken). Yet, through our day-to-day efforts, I believe we can help to support them by providing a little understanding of what the concept of love means. Whether it’s teaching the words to speak, providing the experiences for healthy giving, developing a safe environment for socialization and learning, or even establishing trusted relationships, each of these helps our students grow into healthy adulthood. Hopefully, through our work every day – we help our students keep a few more little lights of wonder, innocence, and joy shining brightly inside their lives.